Ninja BlendBOSS Proves Wellness Aesthetics Are Actually Exhausting

Ninja just dropped a blender that thinks it is a Stanley cup, and I have officially reached my limit with the 'accessory-fication' of my kitchen. 1,100 watts of power shouldn't need a vibrant color palette to justify its existence in my gym bag. We are so obsessed with the gloss of looking healthy that we’re buying industrial appliances based on whether they match our yoga mats. I do not need my protein shake to be a fashion statement; I need it to not taste like grit. This isn't a tool, it's a cry for attention wrapped in pastel plastic.

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