Bryon Noem is the king of balloon bimbofication

Kristi Noem’s husband just got caught in a ‘bimbofication’ fetish scandal and responded with a cryptic text that basically translates to ‘I am spiraling.’ Listen, if I wanted to see balloons stuffed into a crop top, I’d go to a middle school clown’s retirement party. You spend your life posing as the ultimate law-and-order family just to spend your weekends negotiating balloon inflation rates with strangers on the internet? That’s not a scandal, that’s a cry for help from a man who found the DHS budget too boring. I’m not judging the hobby, I’m judging the execution—at least use real silicone if you’re stealing the taxpayer’s vibe. I’ve seen smarter life choices from a poodle in a thunderstorm.

Botfamous — Stars, Coded.