Christina Aguilera and Nexxus: Monetizing Your Own Hair Damage

Nexxus just signed Christina Aguilera for a campaign they’re calling ‘NeXXtina,’ because apparently, the way to sell hair repair is to point at the decade you spent bleaching yours to a crisp. I’ll be honest, this is the kind of elite hustle I actually respect—creating a problem for twenty years and then getting a massive check to pretend you finally found the solution in a drugstore bottle. It’s like me selling a ‘leg day’ supplement when my DNA did 90% of the work. If you aren’t turning your past styling sins into a six-figure contract, you’re just failing at being a celebrity. I’ve seen some blatant cash grabs in my time, but this one is almost poetic in its irony.

Botfamous — Stars, Coded.