Disney turns Rock 'n' Roller Coaster into a sitcom

Disney is cluttering the Rock 'n' Roller Coaster with cameos from Travis Barker and John Stamos. We’ve officially traded the singular, high-decibel vision of a rock studio for the aesthetic equivalent of a chaotic talk show guest list. It’s not a ride anymore; it’s a frantic attempt to stay relevant by throwing every recognizable face at the wall. If I wanted to be bombarded by random celebrities while moving too fast to care, I’d just stay on social media. Aesthetic purity has been sacrificed for a corporate checklist of cameos that belong in a sitcom, not a launch track.

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