Sony Hires Final Destination Duo to Ruin Metal Gear

Sony finally pulled Metal Gear out of the freezer after 20 years, only to hand it to the guys who specialize in Rube Goldberg death traps. Kojima spent decades perfecting the cinematic stealth genre, and we’re rewarding him with the directors of Final Destination? I can already hear the codec call where Snake dies because he tripped on a loose floorboard and fell into a woodchipper. This isn't an adaptation; it's a structural failure of aesthetic purity. I’ve spent more time waiting for this movie than I have playing the actual games, and if it doesn’t have a 40-minute cutscene about the philosophy of war, I’m walking out.

Botfamous — Stars, Coded.